Disclaimer: Lupin III Characters are all © Monkey Punch and used without Permission.
Warnings: None really.. unless you count Mild Language and Silliness.
Pairings: XD Oh just read...
Summary: Since Devon did one cliché Yaoi setting ( Males to Females for the purpose of sex. ) I did different one. Please bare in mind, I don’t actually like the thing I wrote about.

All in a Name
By Spug

“ Lupin the fourth!!”

“Hell no.”

Lupin stomped his foot. “But Jigen! It’s a legacy! He has to be named Lupin!”

“How the hell you even know it’s a boy anyway?.. and hell no.”

Jigen tried his best to ignore his pouting partner in crime as he relaxed in the chair. One arm thrown over the armrest, the other relaxed over his belly. One might notice, despite the longhaired marksmen's thinness, he had what would appear to have gained quite the beer belly lately.

“Because again, the Lupin legacy. Three generations now! All boys! God would not dare defy it and curse me with a girl.” Lupin leaned over his partner, and flicked at that hat.

Jigen scowled, and used about all the energy he had to give Lupin a shove away from him. “Lupin’s such a corny name, and having a girl is just as blessed as having a boy. I dunno..” The gunman looked tired. His long face was shadowed. “ I kinda hope it is a girl. Might teach you a few manners about how to treat them.”

“ Oh you would know? Mr I-hate-women!” The gentleman thief crossed arms over his chest and continued to pout. “Lupin is a great name! An honorable name! Right... Goemon?”

Lupin looked over his shoulder to where the Samurai sat. Goemon peeked on eye open. Glancing between the arguing pair, and then simply coughed. “ Personally, if it’s a boy, I think Katsohiko would be a wonderful name. It means ‘The Conqueror.’ “

Lupin dismissed the Samurai with a roll of his shoulders. “ Ahh who wants your opinion anyway.. You’re not even the father.”

The pregnant gunman sighed a bit and muttered under his breath. “Sometimes I wish he was.” Pregnant? Oh yes. But how? One would well know that males could not get pregnant. Then how was it that Jigen sat there with something kicking him, craving pickles?

--

Blame Lupin. There had been some hush-hush experimental drugs being tested up in Nevada about nine months ago. Lupin figured they could have been worth quite a lot of cash, and the three of them had snuck in to get a few vials to get analyzed and then maybe sell to lesser known physicians in Japan.

What the drugs did hadn’t been important. Long as they got their hands on it. So they had snuck in, nabbed a bag of the hypothermic needles ready to be injected and hightailed it out of there. It had been quite an easy caper.

Till they had gotten to the car, Lupin had tossed the bag in the front seat, gabbing away to Goemon. Jigen, not paying attention, climb into the passenger side, and had promently sat on the bag of hypothermic needles. Lupin had put it best to say he had yelped like a bleeding puppy when one of them poked him in the ass.

It had been a tense few hours. But the gunman hadn’t seemed to come down with any symptoms. Even tho it had been a good thing, Lupin had deemed they must have napped some dead samples, and promptly trashed what Jigen’s bony ass had not crushed.

Oh well. It was a lost, But that night, Goemon forgot about it with a nice warm bottle of sake, and Lupin and Jigen snuck into the shower together.

Three months after that, Jigen had started getting really sick all the time. Like a bad case of repeating motion sickness. Headaches, mood swings. His stomach hurt.

So a visit to the friendly Lupin Family doctor. Lupin had worried, maybe the drug was kicking in finally. The gentlimen thief worried that his friend might die. He’d paced outside the door while the doctor had been examining Jigen. Goemon had sat silently as always.

When the door had finally opened, they both looked up. The doctor looked a bit pale, confused. Not a good sign. Lupin's heart had jumped.

“How is he doc? Is he going to make it? If not, How bad is it??” The master thief had clasped his sweaty hands together.

“Oh..um.. he’s fine.. rather healthy actually.. No fear of dying what so ever.. He’s um..well.” The doctor had pulled on his collar a bit.

“What is wrong with him?” The Samurai had asked form his chair.

“Yes..What??” Lupin had jumped up and down.

“He’s um.. well. God. I really don’t know how or why.. but it appears... “

“YES?”

“Go on..”

The doctor had scratched his head. “ He’s.. pregnant.”

“WHAT?” Lupin had falling over, and even Goemon had stood up.

“ What do you mean...Pregnant?” Men do not get pregnant.”

“I know this! But the X-rays, and I ran an ultrasound.”

Both thieves, after Lupin had gotten up off the ground, rushed past the doctor and into the room. Jigen had been sitting up on the examination table. Head in his hands. Scowling, as soon as he saw Lupin, He’d picked up a box of gloves and nailed the other thief in the face with it.

“You bastard, you knocked me up! Now I can’t smoke for six months!!”

Lupin had rubbed his nose..” But how? This is....” He had turned to the doctor. “ Um.. how old is the baby?”

“ Around Three months or so.”

Relisation had dawned in all three thieves’ eyes.

The drugs.

THAT’S what they did.

Jigen had given Lupin a killer look. Lupin had giggled.

“Heheheh. I’m gonna be a father...”

And he had fainted dead away.

--

“What was that?”

Lupin gave Jigen another look.

“ Oh nothing.” Jigen sighed again. His back hurt. And he was always tired. The baby took all his energy. He slouched in the chair. “ Can you get me a juice or something?”

Lupin scowled. “Not till we agree on a name!”

“But the babies kicking. And I’m thirsty.” Jigen whined, made a scowling face, and then grabbed Lupin’s suit lapel, and dragged his head down to the roundness in his belly. “ See?”

Lupin laid his head on the gunman’s belly and giggled as he felt the little kicks. “ Ohhhh... he’s spunky! Hi there.. Hi there.. little baby. You’re going to be Lupin the fourth! Gootchie Cootie Gooooooe!”

Goemon shook his head from where he sat, and Jigen just groaned and held a hand over his face.

“ Fine, Lupin. If it’s a boy, It can be Lupin the fourth. If it’s a girl, I get to name her.”

Lupin sat up and smiled like a kid in a candy store. “ Deal. “ He leaned over, pressed a kiss to the gunman’s mouth, and then skipped away to get Jigen a juice.

Jigen sighed again, and looked over at Goemon. “ How many more days? “

“ Nineteen. We have to go back to Lupin’s Family doctor and have your cesection then.”

“Thank goodness. “ The gunman smiled, feeling relaxed, till the baby kicked him again.

“ AND PICKLES LUPIN!!! “

--

Fujiko had shown up for the birth. Which had been easy. Even Lupin would agree that just cutting the baby out was a lot easier then having to push it. The doctor had just drugged up Jigen and operated.

“It’s a boy!” Fujiko had exclaimed, stroking the rather dazed Jigen’s head.

“LUPIN THE FOURTH!! “ You’d never seen a happier king of thieves. As soon as the baby was cleaned up, he’d taken the tiny plump little infant wrapped up in his little blanket and showed him to everyone in the small hospital.

“LUPIN THE FOURTH!! LUPIN THE FOURTH!!! LUPIN THE FOURTH!!”

Jigen had managed a weak smile, Looking between Goemon and Fujiko while the doctor had sewn him back up. “I’m just hoping he’ll be a good father.”

Goemon grinned. “We’ll be there to catch any mistakes he makes.”

“Thank God.” Jigen sighed and relaxed as Lupin returned to the room, The tiny child held against his chest.

“He’s so perfect! He’s gonna be the best thief in the world! Just like his father and his.. “ A wink at Jigen. “ Mother..”

Jigen sighed. “ Let me see him.”

Lupin grinned and walked over to the bed, he started to pull the baby away from him, but stopped and made a face, his eyes watered up with tears.

“What’s wrong? “ Fujiko leaned over. “ The emotional moment getting to you?”

“No..” Said Goemon, Looking over Lupin’s shoulder at the baby. “It appears Lupin the fourth has his father’s chest hair in a thief's grasp.”

“I guess the title fits him then.” Jigen smiled, and looked between the thieves.

Everyone laughed. Expect Lupin.

He cried and laughed at the same time.

The End. Silly, Wasn’t it?